What Love Is This♥

The thought of God's love has just been so overbearing on me this past week or so. I think I know what love is...I love my family, I love my boyfriend, I love my friends...but God's love is just so different. It's so different we will never be able to comprehend it. Our human minds can't grasp it. But at the same time, it's enough. Christ's love is enough. It's all we need. It really is. And we can't just know that...we have to live by it. We have to act as if it's enough and stop relying on so many other worldly things. Kari Jobe has a new CD out...And let me just say it's incredible (hint hint..Go buy it!) But one of her songs just hits this topic so hard. It's called What Love Is This, and the lyrics are just so convicting and encouraging. Read them, listen to the song...and allow God to speak encouragement and love into your heart♥

You never change, you are the God you say you are
When I'm afraid you calm and still my beating heart
You stay the same, when hope is just a distant thought
You take my pain
And you lead me to the cross What love is this, that you gave your life for me
And made a way for me to know you
And I confess you're always enough for me
You're all I need I look to you
I see the scars upon your hands
And hold the truth
That when I can't you always can I'm standing here beneath the shadow of the cross,
I'm overwhelmed that I
Keep finding up that ours
What love is this that you gave your life for me
and made a way for me to know you
And I confess, you're always enough for me
You're all I need
Jesus in your suffering you were reaching your thought of me
Jesus in your suffering you were reaching your thought of me

What love is this, that you gave your life for me
And made a way for me to know you
And I confess, you're always enough for me
You're all I need What love is this, that you gave your life for me
And made a way for me to know you
And I confess, you're always enough for me
Always enough for me
Always enough for me

Fellowship

I would like to devote this post to express how grateful I am for the incredible fellowship I have been blessed with during my life. I have gotten close to so many other Christ followers who have truly impacted my own walk with our Savior, Jesus Christ, and they have helped mold me into the woman I am today. I hope to be such a positive influence and encourgament to others as these people are in my life.

To my middle school "posse" Courtney, Morgan, Lindsey, Camille, and Jessie, even though we aren't as close as we were back in the day...I don't know where I would be without yall! My friendship with each of you truly served a purpose and each of you impacted my life more than you'll know. I love yall and I'll always have great memories from middle school thanks to yall.

To my WLAPMS, I love you. And I can't thank you enough for all that you've done for me. You've always been there for me. Ever since that game of volten...(: I have seen you suffer through so much, but I have also seen you overcome it all through Christ. You have been such an example to me, and such an encouragement. And basically, your ability to make me laugh is just icing on the cake. We are so different, but for that I am grateful because we compliment each other so well, don'tcha think?? I look forward to what the years ahead of us hold, because after all we've been through I see us having a longg future together(:

To the love of my life, Mr Justin Matthew Deese, thank you for loving me and always encouraging me. I am just so grateful to have met you. Our story alone just proves to me so much that God is in control and He will provide for you the right person you're supposed to be with in His own timing. You are my best friend, and my high school sweetheart, and you just make me so happy. I could go on for days about all the reasons I am thankful for you...but let's just leave it at this: you have been there for me on my worst days, and you have been there for me on my best days, and either way you still love me and I cannot ask for much more. Know that I will always love you in return no matter what. I look forward to what the future holds in our lives.

To my Consider Him sisters, yall changed my life. You girls showed me so much about myself, and just taught me so much in general. I love you all with all my heart, and you will always be what I think about whenever I think back to high school. We accomplished things that most high school girls wouldn't even consider, and for that...I am proud of us. We pushed each other out of our comfort zones and held each other accountable. I love all of the memories that we made during high school, I will cherish each and every one (because yall know I have them all documented through pictures, of course!). I hate that we've drifted apart so much. I hope that one day our relationships will grow back to how they used to be, telling each other everything and just being able to laugh and have joy whenever we're together. But no matter what happens, yall are my sisters for life and will always be such a huge part of my life.

To my Sixes UMC youth group, I love you all dearly. You each mean so much to me and I am so grateful to have had yall in high school to lean on and call my family. We made so many crazy memories that I will never forget, and I will always remember how close we became on the SYMT 2011 at Myrtle Beach. Even though our hearts were still hurting without our fearless leader, Mr. Bruce, we united at a crucial time and comforted each other. That is the only mission trip I've been on so far, and thanks to yall I learned so much and still apply so much that I learned that week to my life today. I know I am blessed to have been a part of such a great group, and I never want to take that for granted.

To my Nippster, I am so grateful for your friendship. I know that I can always count on you no matter what, and that makes you a true friend in my heart. Even though we haven't even been friends for very long, it amazes me how close we've become in such a short amount of time. You are my sister, and I am grateful for your honesty and caring spirit you have shown to me. I love that even though we live hours away and go to different schools, we have still been able to stay in touch, and grow even closer as friends. Thank you for being there when I need you and for always listening to my dramatic life problems(:

To my lovely roomie, I am just so grateful for you. You have encouraged me and motivated me so much in the short time we've lived together. I know that God put us together for a reason, and I also know people who've had really bad roommates, so even though you do leave all the cabinets open, I am thankful for such an incredible Godly woman as my roommate. I look forward to the huge plans God has in store for us in the future.

To my Sunday Night Bible Study, yall couldn't have came into my life at a more perfect time. I felt so lost starting college and no longer attending any of the 1687416873 million ministries and bible studies I went to in high school. I didn't know what I was gonna do...but of course, God did(: He led me to yall. And even though yall are crazy and loud, I now consider yall a part of my family. You bring joy to my week everytime we meet, and for that I am grateful. I know that yall would do anything for me, and know that I would do the same in return. I hope to continue growing my relationship with yall. I truly love studying God's word together and hearing everyone's perspectives and different translations of the Bible (because, yes, we all need to hear some King James every once in a while). I look forward to what God has in store for this group, love yall!

And last but not least, to my family. I know that I don't always treat yall the way I should. And I know that I really took it for granted having such a loving family when I was younger, but please know now that I realize how much I am loved by yall, and even though we fight, we'd still do anything for each other. Yall are the ones who shaped me into the person I am today. I wouldn't be anywhere if it weren't for yall. And even though I don't always show it, I do realize that. I love you three so much, and I am grateful for every vacation we've went on, everything you've ever provided for me, but most importantly, I am grateful for every lesson you've ever taught me. I hope I've made yall proud so far, and I will strive every day to continue to do so.

Thank you God for each and every person I have encountered and developed a relationship with in my life. I know that they all served a purpose and have helped mold my relationship with You. †

Perfect Timing.

How many times have your heard those words--"perfect timing"? Such overused words...but they're so true. Timing does happen perfectly SO many times. But have you ever stopped and wondered if maybe all that perfect timing wasn't just coincidence? Have you ever stopped to wonder who the designer of that perfect timing is. Maybe if we stopped to think a little bit about who made the sun rise this morning, and who keeps it at the perfect distance from the Earth so we don't melt or freeze to death then we would appreciate the divinity of absolutely perfect timing. Even for the little things. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Life won't always be easy, but we often need reality checks to remind us of how blessed we really are. I am so grateful that God is in control of timing. If I tried to live this life on my own, I know that I will fail every time. But the stupid part about those last two sentences is that even though I KNOW I need God to be in control and I KNOW I can't do this on my own....I still try to sometimes. When I don't agree with how God's laying out my life or I'm sick of waiting on an answer...I just take things into my own hands again. Isn't that so dumb? But I bet I'm not the only one guilty of this. God always has His ways to remind us that He knows best tho, doesn't He? I think the word I'm searching for in this post tonight is surrender. Let's surrender it all to Him tonight. Our whole life. Not just the parts we don't care about or are okay with giving up, but every single aspect of our lives. All to Him. To HIM. Let go and let Him.

Romans 8:7-8 "The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God."

As long as we remain trying to please ourselves and the rest of the world, we can never be pleasing to God as He desires. It's time to get our minds right, focus on our purpose to God above, and live for Him while we still have the opportunity here on Earth.

Satisfy♥

Wow, well it's been officially four months and seventeen days since my last post...and this makes me sad. I was really enjoying getting into blogging; that is, before the dreaded school started back. Now I'm on break again until January 9th, but honestly I've been so bored I'm just ready to go back and dive into my busy lifestyle again. But, unlike last semester, I am going to make more of an effort to continue blogging. I think it helps me understand and remember what God is saying to me when I try to type it out into a blog. On that note, there are some things that I think I've realized about my life lately. One being that I don't know what it was I was searching for...but it seems like without even realizing it...I spent a lot of last semester searching for something to satisfy me. And in my head, I've always known that only God can do that. Anddd I think I realized that tonight in my heart. God isn't just an idea. He isn't just someone to turn to when you have the spare time lying around or you need a wish granted...God is real. He always has been and He always will be. God Satisfies. Period. The end. That's all there is to it. Nothing in this world will ever come close to being able to satisfy that void in your heart. Got that? Nothing. You can try all you want, but in the end, we will all come back to Christ. I really got caught up in going through the motions last semester...even though I told myself I wouldn't. That's what I can't understand. Looking back, I know my heart wasn't in my relationship with Christ. I had stopped depending solely on Him. But while it was happening, I don't know what I thought. I do know this. There will be some changes made. Tonight. I'm gonna stop saying Christ is my number one and I'm gonna start acting like it. I will stop putting off my daily time with God for other things, sleep especially. That's really what it boils down to. Daily [yes-every single day] time with God. How am I expecting to grow closer to Him when I refuse to spend alone time with Him? I mean...group dates are great, but I would have never gotten to know Justin like I know him now if we hadn't spent some alone time together. I feel like this whole blog is just some sort of rant or something...and I think I write these more for myself than for those reading it, but if you are reading this-thank you and I hope you might hold me accountable to all I'm saying. I really do want my relationship with Christ to grow-I am going to be willing to step out of my comfort zone and listen to what God is calling me to do. But it all starts with being satisfied by Christ. This post was inspired by listening to the song "Satisfy" by Tenth Avenue North on repeat on my way home tonight. Truly listen to the lyrics, I hope they spark something in your heart as well.

Hebrews 13:8

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." -Hebrews 13:8

There's this thing we all try to avoid, but unfortunately we are all still forced to face: change. You know, some people like change. They are so used to change or excited about change that it doesn't even bother them. As for me, I hate change. I like things to be routine and reliable...not everchanging and unpredictable. But I've realized that's something I have to get over. Things are going to change, even when we really don't want them to. People leave for college. Those friends who we said would last forever..don't. And that house you've lived in your whole life won't always be there. But there is one thing that never changes...GOD. We always try [or at least I do] to rely on the people or ideas or events of this world..when in reality there is only one thing worth relying on. And that's God. In Hebrews it tells us that Jesus Christ doesn't change. How great is that??? Gosh, I've read this verse a million times..but for some reason tonight it's what I really needed to hear. I no longer have to fear change. I can let go of those friends, start those new classes, and be ready to live on my own. All because I have something that I'm taking with me. That isn't changing. EVER. The love of Christ will always be there even when the love of others runs out. But another thing...we can't wait until things start changing to realize we must rely on Christ. Develop a personal relationship with Him now. It will only make things easier and make your faith stronger when you are faced with those changes or struggles. Like the Jesus Culture song goes...

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant in the trial and the change
One thing remains
Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me
Because on and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelmes and satisfies my soul
And i'll never, ever, have to be afraid
Because one thing remains
His love really doesn't EVER fail. I promise. The Bible promises. God promises. We can fully trust in Him without having any doubts or uncertainties or anything. Doesn't that just make you wanna smile? I'm smiling. It just brings joy and peace to my soul knowing [and not only knowing-but truly believing] that I have one thing in my life that will always stay constant and always be on my side. Ahhhh [sigh of relief, lol]. Well here's a video of the song lyrics I posted above. Truly, truly reflect on how much God loves you and will always be there for you, no matter what.